Writer's Block

So I don't know if any of my fellow English Graduates or any of my fellow writing piers are having this problem, but I am finding it extremely difficult the last couple days to get writing.  I have written about my frustration in my journal and I have gone through several notebook pages of scribbles, which now sit crumbled in my trashcan or on the floor for Lady to play with. 
The phrase came to me that "in order to be a good writer, you have to be a good reader" this weekend, so I started attacking my resent treasures from Barnes and Noble.  I finished another Nora Robert's novel, Honest Illusions, which was really really good.  It hit that romance novel meets mystery need in my heart, but it didn't exactly fill my tank enough to begin writing again.  So I am now currently reading Maria Fiorato's The Botticelli Secret.  It has an exciting and action packed beginning with questions needing to be answered and a mystery to be figured out.
When we hit writers block... what do we do?
I am currently reading books and making a lot of notes to try and jump start my creativity.  What about you?  What have you done to get the creativity flowing?

This Semester Kicked My Ass

Wow... so after 4 very long months, I realized I couldn't right a damn thing.  I spent all semester writing one page blurbs for a misadvertised Theology course,  researching and writing annotated bibliographies for Senior Seminar, and spending God knows how many hours in a dark room sniffing developing chemicals.  My creativity was all used up for my Creative Writing Course, which I believe every English major should take in their senior year.  It's a wonderful load off the brain.  And now... I'm DONE!!!  I have completed my Undergraduate Bachelor Education!!!  I almost don't know what to do with my time.  Well, I  know what I am going to do... I am going to work everyday, build up my bank account, find a graduate program designed just for me, try and get a job with a publishing company... or something.  

Now I am trying to figure out how to give my dog a hair cut without having to go to a salon and spend 100 something bucks to have her look cute and functional.  I need to rearrange my room so I can give my roommate privacy when she takes a shower and I'm in bed.  I also need to figure out how I want to continue as a writer... a reader... something.  I love my job as a research analyst, but it's time to embrace my calling, or at least try my damnedest. Well... on to something...

Final Semester Classes

Art 309 Introduction to Photography

I am really excited about this class.  It is my fun course which requires investing money for future projects and pursuits.  I have purchased a Nikon FM10 SLR camera which I am sure will become a new looking glass for the world, for me at least.  I plan on posting my projects and discussing my experiences... hopefully it will open a new avenue for my writing.



Eng 301 Creative Writing Fiction

Why I chose this class should be basically self explanatory.  I want to start concentrating on my writing skills and critical reading.  This class will provide that opportunity.  This class will also give me the chance to try out different styles and techniques that I am not used to or haven't experienced yet.  I might post some of my short story projects... maybe.






Eng 432 Senior Seminar Metaphysical Poets

This is the last of the seminars that I need to take to graduate.  We did most of our discussions last semester on John Donne.  I did my senior thesis for last semester on his Songs and Sonets.  I almost want to continue my next thesis on Donne, but I will look at the other poets we will be discussing and come to a decision on that soon. 




Trs 381 Ways of Peace in World Religions

I have already completed my Religion minor, but I saw this class and felt drawn to it.  This class is sadly not being taught by the Great Dr. Jones, but I think it still has potential.  War and Peace go hand in hand.  I am hoping this class will educate me on the avenues of stillness out of chaos as practiced by religions I am not privy to here in the US.

A New Year Brings New Opportunities

So it is finally 2011!  The year that me and my fellow classmates finish our undergraduate education... The year where I begin to really put my life together in society... The year that things really get to change!!!  It's about damn time.
Reflecting on 2010
I will admit that 2010 was not the best year for me.  I spent most of it pissed off, stressed, lacking in sleep, and just hating my situation.  I did learn a lot though.  Life lessons of course.  Things that I hope my friends, family and others also learned from.  I have to give props to certain friends who stood by me last year and who grew into some pretty awesome people...  Abbey, I love you sweety.  I am so proud of the woman that you are becoming.  You have dropped your high school blah and started to really come into your own.  I hope you have a great time in Europe this year.  I will miss you terribly.  Olivia, you and Louis have been through a lot and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you two.  I also cant wait to buy one of your paintings and be a future supporter of whatever you decide to do.  Heather, I think you going to Spain was an awesome idea.  You cracked your personal shell and took some steps in life.  I don't know what you plan to do yet, but I hope I'm there to see it.  You have a great heart.  Gabrielle, you are my kindred sister.  You are suborn and determined.  I like it.  I know that what ever you plan to do, it will be epic and exciting.

Looking at 2011
I am excited to see what this year has in store.  I have made several great friends who I believe will be life long companions.  I have started into a career that I am sure will help get me far.  I have established good relations with the family members that count.  It is only the beginning.
New Years Resolution
To Be Happy
I have chosen this resolution for several reasons, but what really matters is my outlook on life.  Last year I was not happy and I hated my life.  I appreciated and found happiness in people, places, and moments, but I was never truly happy.  So my goal for this year is to establish happiness.  Break the barriers that I have placed around me.  Chisel some of the ice that I have surrounded my heart with.  I know it won't be easy, but I think the odds are on my side this year.  Things are going to be getting better.

Peace of Mind

Every day I sit and meditate for 10 to 30 minutes.  This is what I like too think of as my "ME" time.  I calmly try to think through the events of my day and the different things that I know are coming up. Then, slowly, I let go of everything... like a check-list.  I remind myself that these are only tiny pieces of my day, and that they have no hold on me...  I decide how my day will begin and how it will end...
I will admit that this whole process seems to get harder and harder as I get older... as I progress in my scholarly status... as I continue in taking on new projects as work...  in meeting and getting to know new people... in dealing with the issues of other people.... It makes life really complicated.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is how life works... it is an uphill battle.  When you think you are in a good place in your life,... a tragedy happens, or your mind reflects on a bad thought, or someone brings you their burdens and asks you to help hold them up...  It is just the way of things.  But you can decide how you will remember your days, how you will progress.
It is amazing how sitting in one position, closing your eyes, and slowly breathing in and out can be so releaving.  It can complete change your out-look on things, it can release some of the pressure on your mind.
To all my friends and loved ones, plus those of you that I do not know, I would like to encourage you to take a moment to breath.  Close your eyes and just breath.  Push your thoughts aside, and just be with your self for a second or two... Then I promise you that taking on the world will be just a little bit easier for you.

First Comes Marriage - Debbie Macomber

So I just finished reading Debbie Macomber's First Comes Marriage.  It is a short witty novel about a loving grandfather keeping to old traditions in our modern culture in order to make the lives of his only granddaughter and new business partner fulfilling.  Anton, the grandfather, is an extremely wealthy business owner in Seattle who is getting ready to retire.  But before he does, he wants to marry off his only granddaughter Janine.  Being of the old country, he believes that the best thing for Janine is an arranged marriage... to his new young business partner, Zack, whom he will be living his business to.  Through a series of well planned entanglements by Anton, Janine and Zack find each other through methods of which might be old fashioned to the 21st century.  This was a very comical and sweet story.  Perfect for an evening paired with a hot cup of tea.

Thank you Gabriell for the book.

Food for thought...

I was thinking about the whole word thing again.  And I of course was trying to figure out a way in which I could find or discover my word...  I actually asked a random lady at work today, (note: I haven't known her very long, like two maybe three weeks, she is in her 40's though) "when you look at me... really look at me... what is the first word that comes to your mind?"
For those of you who think this is a weird question to ask basically a complete stranger, well I will agree with you.  But here is what I was thinking... Who you are... on the inside, like your core self, could it be more easily noticed or well recognized by a person who doesn't know you, a person who has no real opinion or history with you?...  You know how they say that your first impression means everything, or at least it's really really important.  Well, along those lines are what I believed might be a way of interpreting or alluding to one's word.
And her answer... was Passion.
I asked her why she chose that word and she said it was simple, "She could see a passionate soul through my eyes."  What drove that passion or what was it's source she did not know.
So how about that folks?  I personally do not think that is my word... or maybe it is, but if it was your word, don't you think that you would be able to recognize it... at least in some fashion?

Commited... Do you really know what that means?

Because it's me, as soon as I finished Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, I had to jump right into the sequel Committed - A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.  And you know how older people warn you to look before you leap... well I didn't look, and kinda got smacked in the face by this book.  Not literally of course, but that kinda thing where it digs up old thoughts that you haven't touched in years and shakes you up now that you are looking at them kinda wack in the face.  Needless to say I was going through a sporadic range of emotions and ideas while reading this book, mostly because it was pissing me off because it was making me reflect on my families numerous marriages, but was also bringing up some really good points and ideas that I agreed with,  so instead of putting it down and not looking at it, I kept reading.  I gotta give it to ya Elizabeth, you really hit it out of the park with this one, but I doubt they are going to turn it into a movie.
Any way, I like how she has separated each chapter with a different issue in regards to marriage. So Marriage and Surprises, Expectation, History, Infatuation, Women, Autonomy, Subversion, and Ceremony.  She discusses her issues with each topic, the history of the topic, how it relates to her and Felipe's relationship, and how it relates to the part of the world they are currently staying in at that time.  So no surprises when you actually realize that this is a book of a woman thinking about the entirety of marriage on paper....
Men, this might be good reading material for when you decide to take your relationships with women seriously... but word to the wise... digest it in baby steps... we don't want you to hurt yourselves.
Though I am saying this is a good book, I will not say that she covers all the bases when it comes to marriage.  Could you really do that in one book? Well, she doesn't and she also alludes to it that she can't and that that wasn't the point of the book anyway.  This is a book where a woman has literally discussed with herself and a few recorded conversation with other people about what marriage means to her and those around her and how she thinks it will affect her the second time in the ring... or well wearing the ring I guess. 
I think that marriage has always left a bitter taste in my mouth after watching both of my parents and a few uncles and aunts get married over and over again.  I will admit that at one point I swore to myself that I never wanted to get married, because I didn't want to be continuously sad like they were.  But then I was introduced to the romance novel and I saw other families outside of my own living happy, healthy lives as one marvelously functioning unit.(unlike my own)  I knew that my brothers and I got the shit end of the stick but that didn't mean it would always be that way.  Eventually we could go to college or move out of our parents homes and make our own trouble... life's cruel that way.  Though I do believe it is better for you to learn things the hard way yourself instead of in the shadow of someone else.  What I really want to get across here is that this book will make you think, not just about your experiences when it comes to or witnessing marriage, but also about what you want out of marriage.  Being committed...

Next blog post will discuss what it means to be Committed...

What Is Your Word?

So the girls and I recently decided to read Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat Pray Love and there was a section of the book which particularly struck a cord with me.  In the book Elizabeth, while in Italy, goes through a situation where she and her companions contemplate what a city/person/country's word is.  For example, when discussing the word for the Vatican, one might think FAITH, but instead the Italians explained it was POWER... and as a non-catholic I can see how it is power over faith.  Religion is a business first you know.  When you think of New York City, the words ACHIEVE and SUCCEED tingle the mind the most.  And then the punch line for the whole thing was that Rome's word was SEX, and Elizabeth was definitely not indulging in that word just yet.
But back to my point, when you really think of someone or someplace or something there is usually that word or set of words which helps you think of or describe said person/place/thing, right?  So one thought led to another and it got me wondering what was my word?
I am a daughter, sister, friend, lover, writer, reader, scholar, giver, researcher, but those words describe only a small part of me... what I am, what I do, but not who I am.  Now if your thinking anything along the same lines I did, you be tossing the ideas of how can you really pick one word to describe you? didn't it take a long period of time before people could really give it a word? who decides that word? me? my friends and family?
It's really a brain teaser ain't it?  Well, at this point in time I can't even come close to really thinking about my word, but I just thought I would throw that idea out there.

Happy reading folks.

 This looks like it would be a great thinking spot to contemplate that word.

Get Your Act Together

So vacation is over and there is only about a month left till school starts.  I have read so many books this summer that is sorta kinda hard to review them all... I remember my favorites of course, but that is only because this is like the thousandth time I have read them.  Oh, but so many more books and poems do I have before me.  It almost hurts. 
I have Lady living with me now... She is an absolutely adorable Yorkie-poo.  She gives me a reason to role out of bed in the morning, ... to take her out to go pee & poo.  She also gives me something to come home to and play with and goof around with... she is fabulous.  I'm not alone anymore.  This is great.

I'm missing some of my friends from back home.  I won't be able to see them until Christmas, but then some of them won't be there.  Oh, scheduling sucks horribly.  But everything seems to be on the up and up, except for my bank account.  That won't go up really until I get the loan money from Direct Loans.... counting the days.
But life is good. And that is what really matters.