Thursday, August 19, 2010

Commited... Do you really know what that means?

Because it's me, as soon as I finished Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, I had to jump right into the sequel Committed - A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.  And you know how older people warn you to look before you leap... well I didn't look, and kinda got smacked in the face by this book.  Not literally of course, but that kinda thing where it digs up old thoughts that you haven't touched in years and shakes you up now that you are looking at them kinda wack in the face.  Needless to say I was going through a sporadic range of emotions and ideas while reading this book, mostly because it was pissing me off because it was making me reflect on my families numerous marriages, but was also bringing up some really good points and ideas that I agreed with,  so instead of putting it down and not looking at it, I kept reading.  I gotta give it to ya Elizabeth, you really hit it out of the park with this one, but I doubt they are going to turn it into a movie.
Any way, I like how she has separated each chapter with a different issue in regards to marriage. So Marriage and Surprises, Expectation, History, Infatuation, Women, Autonomy, Subversion, and Ceremony.  She discusses her issues with each topic, the history of the topic, how it relates to her and Felipe's relationship, and how it relates to the part of the world they are currently staying in at that time.  So no surprises when you actually realize that this is a book of a woman thinking about the entirety of marriage on paper....
Men, this might be good reading material for when you decide to take your relationships with women seriously... but word to the wise... digest it in baby steps... we don't want you to hurt yourselves.
Though I am saying this is a good book, I will not say that she covers all the bases when it comes to marriage.  Could you really do that in one book? Well, she doesn't and she also alludes to it that she can't and that that wasn't the point of the book anyway.  This is a book where a woman has literally discussed with herself and a few recorded conversation with other people about what marriage means to her and those around her and how she thinks it will affect her the second time in the ring... or well wearing the ring I guess. 
I think that marriage has always left a bitter taste in my mouth after watching both of my parents and a few uncles and aunts get married over and over again.  I will admit that at one point I swore to myself that I never wanted to get married, because I didn't want to be continuously sad like they were.  But then I was introduced to the romance novel and I saw other families outside of my own living happy, healthy lives as one marvelously functioning unit.(unlike my own)  I knew that my brothers and I got the shit end of the stick but that didn't mean it would always be that way.  Eventually we could go to college or move out of our parents homes and make our own trouble... life's cruel that way.  Though I do believe it is better for you to learn things the hard way yourself instead of in the shadow of someone else.  What I really want to get across here is that this book will make you think, not just about your experiences when it comes to or witnessing marriage, but also about what you want out of marriage.  Being committed...

Next blog post will discuss what it means to be Committed...

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