Food for thought...

I was thinking about the whole word thing again.  And I of course was trying to figure out a way in which I could find or discover my word...  I actually asked a random lady at work today, (note: I haven't known her very long, like two maybe three weeks, she is in her 40's though) "when you look at me... really look at me... what is the first word that comes to your mind?"
For those of you who think this is a weird question to ask basically a complete stranger, well I will agree with you.  But here is what I was thinking... Who you are... on the inside, like your core self, could it be more easily noticed or well recognized by a person who doesn't know you, a person who has no real opinion or history with you?...  You know how they say that your first impression means everything, or at least it's really really important.  Well, along those lines are what I believed might be a way of interpreting or alluding to one's word.
And her answer... was Passion.
I asked her why she chose that word and she said it was simple, "She could see a passionate soul through my eyes."  What drove that passion or what was it's source she did not know.
So how about that folks?  I personally do not think that is my word... or maybe it is, but if it was your word, don't you think that you would be able to recognize it... at least in some fashion?

Commited... Do you really know what that means?

Because it's me, as soon as I finished Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, I had to jump right into the sequel Committed - A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.  And you know how older people warn you to look before you leap... well I didn't look, and kinda got smacked in the face by this book.  Not literally of course, but that kinda thing where it digs up old thoughts that you haven't touched in years and shakes you up now that you are looking at them kinda wack in the face.  Needless to say I was going through a sporadic range of emotions and ideas while reading this book, mostly because it was pissing me off because it was making me reflect on my families numerous marriages, but was also bringing up some really good points and ideas that I agreed with,  so instead of putting it down and not looking at it, I kept reading.  I gotta give it to ya Elizabeth, you really hit it out of the park with this one, but I doubt they are going to turn it into a movie.
Any way, I like how she has separated each chapter with a different issue in regards to marriage. So Marriage and Surprises, Expectation, History, Infatuation, Women, Autonomy, Subversion, and Ceremony.  She discusses her issues with each topic, the history of the topic, how it relates to her and Felipe's relationship, and how it relates to the part of the world they are currently staying in at that time.  So no surprises when you actually realize that this is a book of a woman thinking about the entirety of marriage on paper....
Men, this might be good reading material for when you decide to take your relationships with women seriously... but word to the wise... digest it in baby steps... we don't want you to hurt yourselves.
Though I am saying this is a good book, I will not say that she covers all the bases when it comes to marriage.  Could you really do that in one book? Well, she doesn't and she also alludes to it that she can't and that that wasn't the point of the book anyway.  This is a book where a woman has literally discussed with herself and a few recorded conversation with other people about what marriage means to her and those around her and how she thinks it will affect her the second time in the ring... or well wearing the ring I guess. 
I think that marriage has always left a bitter taste in my mouth after watching both of my parents and a few uncles and aunts get married over and over again.  I will admit that at one point I swore to myself that I never wanted to get married, because I didn't want to be continuously sad like they were.  But then I was introduced to the romance novel and I saw other families outside of my own living happy, healthy lives as one marvelously functioning unit.(unlike my own)  I knew that my brothers and I got the shit end of the stick but that didn't mean it would always be that way.  Eventually we could go to college or move out of our parents homes and make our own trouble... life's cruel that way.  Though I do believe it is better for you to learn things the hard way yourself instead of in the shadow of someone else.  What I really want to get across here is that this book will make you think, not just about your experiences when it comes to or witnessing marriage, but also about what you want out of marriage.  Being committed...

Next blog post will discuss what it means to be Committed...

What Is Your Word?

So the girls and I recently decided to read Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat Pray Love and there was a section of the book which particularly struck a cord with me.  In the book Elizabeth, while in Italy, goes through a situation where she and her companions contemplate what a city/person/country's word is.  For example, when discussing the word for the Vatican, one might think FAITH, but instead the Italians explained it was POWER... and as a non-catholic I can see how it is power over faith.  Religion is a business first you know.  When you think of New York City, the words ACHIEVE and SUCCEED tingle the mind the most.  And then the punch line for the whole thing was that Rome's word was SEX, and Elizabeth was definitely not indulging in that word just yet.
But back to my point, when you really think of someone or someplace or something there is usually that word or set of words which helps you think of or describe said person/place/thing, right?  So one thought led to another and it got me wondering what was my word?
I am a daughter, sister, friend, lover, writer, reader, scholar, giver, researcher, but those words describe only a small part of me... what I am, what I do, but not who I am.  Now if your thinking anything along the same lines I did, you be tossing the ideas of how can you really pick one word to describe you? didn't it take a long period of time before people could really give it a word? who decides that word? me? my friends and family?
It's really a brain teaser ain't it?  Well, at this point in time I can't even come close to really thinking about my word, but I just thought I would throw that idea out there.

Happy reading folks.

 This looks like it would be a great thinking spot to contemplate that word.

Get Your Act Together

So vacation is over and there is only about a month left till school starts.  I have read so many books this summer that is sorta kinda hard to review them all... I remember my favorites of course, but that is only because this is like the thousandth time I have read them.  Oh, but so many more books and poems do I have before me.  It almost hurts. 
I have Lady living with me now... She is an absolutely adorable Yorkie-poo.  She gives me a reason to role out of bed in the morning, ... to take her out to go pee & poo.  She also gives me something to come home to and play with and goof around with... she is fabulous.  I'm not alone anymore.  This is great.

I'm missing some of my friends from back home.  I won't be able to see them until Christmas, but then some of them won't be there.  Oh, scheduling sucks horribly.  But everything seems to be on the up and up, except for my bank account.  That won't go up really until I get the loan money from Direct Loans.... counting the days.
But life is good. And that is what really matters.

Attempting To See The Good

One of the truths about life is that it is extremely complex.  Intertwined with the good is the bad,and with the bad the good. Life is of course then never easy. We will view things as easier than others,but life is complicated and hard.  Sometimes it is hard to make basic decisions,but then it is easy to make life changing decisions. Or the other way around,which for most is the easier.
What I have been thinking about the last couple of days is being optimistic.  For most of the people I know this is an easy task, but then for those chosen few, this is a complication within their life... basically they can't see what everyone else does. I have made a point in my adult life to stick to being optimistic because being depressed all the time in my mind is no way to live.  I'm not saying that I never get depressed, because I do. I just choose not to dwell on it, or I am trying really damn hard to avoid it.
So let's face it. There are a lot of shitty things going on for the young adults today.  The job market basically sucks.  So you are forced to decide between your happiness at home or trying to do something new somewhere else where you are not as familiar.  Some of you,like myself have no issue with this. You are willing to run into the distance and take on what ever challenges the world has out there for you. But then there are those of you who no matter what your circumstances are now want to run home as soon as you can.  And well, though I might not agree with your decision, it might be the best thing for you. Truth is, that some people just weren't meant to leave their family nest. And that is sad I think. I am not saying that there is something wrong with having roots. Everyone just has to make up their mind on whether they want to stick to the roots their parents set for them, or whether or not you want to stand up for yourself and set up your own roots.
If you decided to go to college and your parents are not paying your way, then you are putting yourself further and further into dept with college loans.  That is the case the case for me. Since I decided not to stay in TN and spread my wings elsewhere, I am well...... very very in dept to the government and Sallie Mae.  On top of that I decided to get a vehicle because I needed to be able to move around on more than just the metro and my own two feet.  That set me a few thousand back, and now I am having to pay for insurance and gas.  Yeah so I have a lot against my name right now, and guess what ... that is ok.  Everyone doesn't start out rich out their asses to where they really don't have to work for anything.  Getting in dept and paying it off is a cycle of modern life.  It symbolizes accomplishment. If you have to work for what you have, then you will appreciate things in life more than those people who just have stuff handed to them.  Because I am having to work off my education, I understand what separates me from other people.  I realize that not everyone got the chance to do what I am doing, and some people had to settle when I decided not to.  Not that everyone did, but what I am doing sets me apart... just like everyone else who is trying to do things completely on their own.  Now a few of my friends still depend on their families because the opportunity for them to get away just hasn't opened. To you I say keep doin what you have to for yourself.  If you keep pushing,your door will open and you will be free to make your own mistakes and truly live your own life.
So I guess in conclusion people, I am saying give life a chance.  You might not be in the situation you want to be in, but keep pushing and eventually you will.  Take the time to realize what you have and embrace it. Discover your strengths and revel in them.  Do what it takes so you can stand strong on your own and be proud of yourself.  Be able to smile at life, even though it might not be smiling on you now.

Us vs. The Rest of the World

It seems lately that I have had to have several conversations with people on how it is that the world seems to be fighting against us.  The idea that the world is pushing against all efforts and that no matter what we do, we seem to not be able to out-wit the world.  But I wonder, is this really the case?  Can the world really fight against you when all there is is what you and your elders have put into it?

In order to explain my advice, I must define some key terms.
So what exactly is the "world"?  I have come to understand it as everyone else who inhabits this planet besides ourselves.  It also may include the natural forces of nature of which we can influence,sorta,but can not actually manipulate or change.  It or they are everything else that affects our daily lives and decisions. For example, the oil spill in the Gulf is explained to be a man-made natural disaster.  Because of this open oil field which has been continuously spilling into our ocean for more than a month now, we can not really take and beach vacations to the Gulf. The contamination in the water is due to man's desire for oil with out any true means of control. There have been several efforts to decrease or stop the flow of oil,but it seems that all we are doing is making it worse.
What is the connection between us and the actions of other people?  I find this explanation to be the hardest. We are our own individuals who are responsible for our own personal actions. This applies to every human being on this planet. Now some actions are group efforts,like a team sport or an organized group event, and some individual actions affect groups outside of themselves,like suicide bombings.  Whether we want to admit it or not,our own personal actions in some way or another affect the lives of everyone else in the world. It is a grand concept, I know, but it doesn't make it any less true.  Here is a small example:
You go to the grocery store and you purchase and apple. Now in purchasing that one apple you have actually done several things. 1-you provided profit for the store in which you purchased the apple, 2-you provided a profit for the farm which grew the apple, 3-you increased the demand for more apples from that farm and that store, 4-you have given the opportunity for the clerk to do there job and then receive a pay check for that work. That is just a bit of the financial side of it I believe. For the more natural side of things: this can go either of the two ways...1-you have purchased something that once you have finished eating may be ground up and used as plant food with the rest of your fruit and vegetable mush or 2-if you toss the apple in the trash,you are providing job opportunities for garbage personnel and garbage separators.  For you personally  you have chosen something healthy which will not add to the luxury of your waist line and will help keep the doctor away.
Now my advice. I like to keep an optomistic point of view when it comes to our lives and the lives of others. It keeps things a lot less stressful, if you know what I mean.  In a sense,it is us against the world, but you must understand that this is nothing to be afraid of because everyone else is in the same shoes that you are.  Everyone no matter who they are,where they live,what their job is, who their family is, none of it matters.  These things can help when it comes to certain situations you face in your life,but the bottom line is it is you against the world. Now I hate having to pull the God card, but it apparently really helps with some people. You should know the line.... God will never give you more than you can handle. For some that is all they need to hear because of their unexplainable faith in whatever their god of choice may be. But for others,like myself,I like to explain things in a more we are the natural wonders of the world sort of thing.
Man was once just a cave creature. It roamed from place to place living off of natural animal instincts. Then when it was time, either by accident or inspiration, man created fire,he created the wheel,clothing,and on and on and on up till now where we are using almost completely man made everything for everything in our lives. We, man, are adapters and creators. Some of us might not think of ourselves as master inventors but we can adapt better than any other creature on earth. Whether it be family,financial,job,or relationships, or any other life situation, we will have something put on our plates,then we will continue on. We will fix,compromise, reconsider,change,give up, rethink, learn.... whatever it takes to keep us on our feet,that is what we will do. The fact is,some events hurt more than others,and it might take a little more umph to get us back on our feet and on our way. The goal/point is that we do it. We do to succeed. We do to accomplish. We do to live.

Yin and Yang

I have always been fascinated by the Yin and Yang symbol.  The simplicity of it captures the attention of every generation.  It wasn't until this last year when I took World Religion's and Taoism and Confucianism that I was truly able to learn about this symbol.  It's physical design may be simple, but it's inner meaning is far more complicated.
Out of the chaos came the balance of Yin and Yang.   It is not the elements of good and evil, but it is instead the presence of balance.  Yin, the feminine essence, represents the cool, female, water, light, etc.  The Yang represents the hot, male, fire, dark, etc.  In the cycle of life, there is in the height of Yin, the presence of Yang.  And in the height of Yang, there is the presence of Yin.  The initial idea is a balance of all things.
In our modern lives, I think that it is difficult to find that balance of all things.  We will try when we think the balance has gotten to rough, but in truth we should try to keep the balance every day.  Yoga and revitalization in the morning.  Exercise and invigoration during the day.  Cool down and relaxation in the evening.  Inn this cycle we can maintain a healthy balance in our lives.  I think it's worth trying.

Southern Charm

The thing about Nashville and most of the state of Tennessee is that no matter where you go you are welcomed with a smile and a helping hand.  Whether you are trying to see the city, travel through the country side, discover something new and musical, or just trying to get your stuff out of your car, Tennesseans are always willing to help.  I have lived outside of the state of Tennessee for three years now, and I am still baffled by how different the rest of the country is from my southern home.  Truthfully, Tennessee moves at a bit of a slower pace.  People actually take the time to enjoy the air and embrace the sunshine.  Everywhere you go, someone is willing to strike up a conversation with you about almost anything.  If you are thinking of family and friends, plus a good time, or reminiscing on good times, you have found the place.  I am proud to say that I am a Tennessean, and I am glad that I am able to show the people in Washington, DC, Maryland and all of my college peers what true Southern Charm is. 

I purchased my Honda CR-V

This is my 2006 Honda CR-V EX SUV 4WD.  She is gold with a cool tan interior.  Hey camping trips.  Here we come!!!

Getting a vehicle in another state

So setting things up to get my first paid for by me vehicle is going rather crabby,but is moving along. The plan was to purchase car insurance before I left Maryland so that when I purchase the vehicle in Tennessee,things will go much more smoothly. This is sorta not going to happen. I will set up renters insurance so that they have all of my information. I will then go to Darrel Waltrip Honda in Cool Springs Tennessee and purchase a Honda CR-V EX-L(used),probably a 2008.  Then I will call State Farm and set up the car insurance so that I can drive off the lot with my new(used) SUV. Because I live in Maryland,I will have to wait and come back to get plates and register the car here.  That sucks for me because I really don't want to be associated with Maryland drivers because they all basically don't know how to drive. What I mean is,  I have yet to see a Maryland plated driver follow the road rules. This is all so frustrating. But it will be ok. It will all happen on Monday and then I will be happy.  I hope.